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Author: GoldDoug Subject: The wife always wants MORE
GoldDoug
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Registered: 01-25-2012
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posted on 01-25-2012 at 16:16 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
The wife always wants MORE

I've been married less than two years and money has always been a heated topic between the wife and I. I come from money and she sends her mom a check every month. The problem is I think she cares more about my money than me. We were talking about buying a house and I asked her what she would want to contribute to the down payment. I want to see a commitment from her because we got into contract on a house last summer and she basically said that I was on my own to coordinate any repairs or improvements and that everything had to be perfect before she would move in. Even though I was married, I felt completely alone. So, we're looking at houses again - she wants to buy and I'm happier renting - and I don't want to move forward unless I feel that she's really committed to owning a home and all of the hard work that goes along with it. So, I asked her how much of her savings she's willing to commit to our home. The first time I asked she started yelling so I stopped the conversation. The second time this came up, in therapy, she stonewalled and cried but wouldn't talk about how she would contribute to owning a home. And, the last time we talked about this, she suggested that I should contribute more to our expenses so that she would have more savings to contribute (Note: I don't give a shit how much money she puts in. Only that it shows that she's committed.).

Anyway, I feel totally alone again. I have a few rules of thumb that I use to measure people and one of them is how they respond when you ask them what their contribution is (for those of you that are interested in Steve Jobs, he was notorious for firing people who didn't have a good answer). There's no right answer. I'm just looking for my wife to be excited about buying a house together, understanding that this is a sacrifice for both of us (the housing market is retarded around here), and to show that she's willing to make it happen. Instead she tells me that I need to do more.
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