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Author: whydididoit Subject: Actually doing it...
whydididoit
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Posts: 2
Registered: 03-19-2013
Location:

posted on 03-19-2013 at 09:38 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Actually doing it...

So here's my situation. Sorry if it takes a little while. I am originally from Europe and I met my wife whilst visiting the US. She was a permanent resident there and has three children.

To cut a long story short, we got married, she moved with me to Europe and her children stayed with their grandparents for a while until we got settled. Then they moved over to be with us.

After about 2 years there (with numerous horrible fights and constant FALSE alligations of cheating from her as well as some good times) I decided that I really needed to change jobs because I hated mine. I got another job offer and accepted it - the only problem was that it was for less money. This did not please my wife and she made such a scene that I ended up not taking the job and asking my employer at the time if they could transfer me somewhere else - they did - to the US (Texas to be precise).

So we've been here for about 6 months. She hates the place. I like it. We fight all the time. Even before moving here I have been wanting it to be over in some way or another. I never really knew exactly what the problem is but, basically, I just don't feel in love with her anymore. Yes, I care for her and the children but I am miserable in the situation. I currently take two medications for depression and all it does is take away the crippling lows - I am still far from happy and I do not believe that I ever will be if I stay married. Anyway, I told her recently how I felt. She went crazy - ended up hitting me. I threatened to call the police but she begged me not to because it could affect her custody agreement with her ex husband. This is not the first time she hit me. She was regularly physically abusive and it happend so often that I sometimes retaliated - just to keep her off of me and stop the strangling, scratching and punching. Anyway - this is the first time anything like that has happened in a long time.

She says she still loves me and that I am not trying enough. She says that she demands to go back to Europe and that I go with her - otherwise I am not committed to her and have been lying about ever loving her. But I really don't want to go. I don't want to be with her - here or anywhere else really, so I certainly refuse to move 1000s of miles to somewhere I don't want to go for someone I don't want to be with.

Now I really feel that I have to leave. I am not going to be emotionally blackmailed into moving to Europe with her and she refuses to stay here.

My main concern is her reaction if I should move out of the house and actually leave her. She makes all kinds of threats like sending abusive e-mails and making false aligations of everything and anyone and copying in everyone at my work (1000s of people).

Since I have seriously mentioned breaking up she has called me every name under the sun, punched me and made a load of threats.

What should I do? I want to leave and I can't stay for the sake of my sanity (and ultimately hers).

I have offered to fund her trip back to Europe, help her arrange a rental place, pay for some of her belongings to go back, and to pay her half of my salary for almost 36 months.

Now she says that I am trying to buy her off and that I am treating her like an object. Well, I don't see it that way. It's like I am obliged to stay with her for good under her terms. I am just making this offer so that she can easily get back on her feet and so that the children won't have to deal with financial hardship.

Any thoughts or ideas would be appreciated.
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